Wildhorse Resort Casino Jobs

The Abridged Biography of Mr. House, Part 2 (The Last Part)

Don't mind me, just carrying on from where we left off.
11) The House Always Wins, Part 1
From this point onwards, we’re going to assume the Courier sides with House, purely because House…well, he dies in all other scenarios. House may now have electricity, an income and a plan, but he’s still weak as hell and still living at the mercy of the NCR, with no real power in the grander scheme of things…yet.
The year is 2281. The Platinum Chip, formerly buried in the Ruins of Sunnyvale, is now within spitting distance of Vegas. House is aware of the Yes-Man AI, but doesn’t know how it is stored, nor who it belongs to. He is aware of Benny’s treacherous nature (hence never allowed him into the Lucky 38), but is underestimating it. And that’ll be to his detriment. Like some grand relay race, the Courier is employed to be the anchor leg that finally carries House’s one-of-a-kind USB home.
The timing couldn’t be better. Knowing how little power he actually has right now, House has been refusing to attend diplomatic meetings with NCR Ambassadors, knowing it could end only in him giving concession after concession until he loses all hope of ever attaining his independence. But, of course, NCR attains what it wants in one of two ways:
a) taking it by force,
or
b) reasoning it under their control.
And House knows he’s made himself very difficult to reason with. Although he wants the NCR to win against the Legion, he cannot allow them to do so on their own terms…or else he’d be next. And he cannot make the NCR win on his terms until he has his Chip back.
Perhaps he could have attended the meetings, made the concessions, became an NCR citizen, ensured his safety under NCR that way, rather than continue to risk himself for a greater vision. But House’s vision is all that motivates him to stay alive at this point. He’d rather risk death than abandon his plan for Earth. It’s why he throws his life away trying to kill you if you destroy the bunker beneath Fortification Hill. Without the means to defend what he needs for his plans, he may as well let himself die.
Anyways, House screens the Courier’s approach to protect them from raiders or tech-hoarders…but doesn’t count on Benny having access to Yes-Man. Nor does he count on having missed a section of Vault 21’s tunnels, allowing Benny to sneak out undetected. This results in his Courier being shot and his Chip, already 200 years late, was further delayed.
A Securitron controlled by House’s “Victor” AI, however, was ordered to inspect the crime scene once Benny departed. He found the Courier barely alive and carried him to a nearby doctor; one who had left Vault 21 many years ago…
The Courier lived to carry out their task, with House monitoring and protecting them as much as possible through Victor (but also holding Victor back where he feels it is necessary, such as the gunfight at Goodsprings). Later in this quest, we can see an unusual amount of cultural sensitivity from the aloof House; he helps you capture the Platinum Chip not by sending in Securitrons (brute force), but rather by playing on the Chairmen’s sense of honour, instructing the Courier to convince Swank of Benny’s treachery. Assuming Benny doesn’t con the Courier thereafter, this plan goes off without a hitch. The Chip is returned.
Why House admitted the Courier into his casino when no one else had been allowed to enter in centuries is a bit of a mystery. If you’ll allow me to speculate, it could be that House identified with the Courier, who survived terrible odds to fulfill their contract, and felt some kinship with them due to that. House’s ethics only really go as far as his contracts do, and he likely appreciates a Courier who works so hard to uphold theirs where no one else would.
Or maybe House was desperate, and figured someone would break in to kill him eventually (maybe not Benny, but NCR would have the ordinance, and Legion the cunning to do so). So perhaps he felt the Courier, as the most recent arrival to the Mojave, was the most trustworthy person he could select. A long shot, to be sure, but such was his life after the War began.
Anyways, House now has his Chip back. This is where the fun begins.
12) The House Always Wins, Part 2
We’ve already talked about the nature of the Fortification Bunker, so here I’ll speak of what the Mk II Upgrade means for House’s Securitrons. It means all the assets around Vegas – the assets House was likely aiming for in the first place – can now be defended by him directly. Hoover Dam, HELIOS One, REPCONN, and so forth. Vegas and the settlements around it can be protected and the Bunker ensures he has the numbers to do so.
But, for now, House doesn’t use this. In order to force a clean rout from the NCR (as opposed to a bloodbath), House must catch them completely off-guard. To that end, he must continue to appear as weak as he was before acquiring the Chip, conserving his forces for the Second Battle of Hoover Dam and thereafter. Activating his whole army before then would be far too conspicuous and only serve to complicate matters.
But when the iron is hot? House plans to use his improved and enlarged robot army to raze Caesar’s camp to the ground, flank and eradicate the Legion, take Hoover Dam, Outer Vegas and HELIOS, force a withdrawal from the NCR…and protect Goodsprings, due to the selfless assistance they provided his Courier. Determinantly, he may also make a move on Primm if it proves itself to be highly annexable to foreign powers
The Securitrons are an army that never hungers, never tires, never sleeps and almost never dies. Armoured second only to the Brotherhood of Steel. Enduring second only to the Ghost People. Each one has the capability to engage squads, vehicles, aircraft…as House said himself, “Vegas will finally have soldiers worthy of protecting it.”
13) The House Always Wins, Part 3
We don’t have a lot to say about House and the Boomers. His ending slide with them is the only one that doesn’t explicitly say the Boomers violently kept travelers out of their home. Make of that what you will.
In any case, it’s artillery – a powerful defensive/ siege asset - to combine with his robots (another powerful defensive/ siege asset).
Perhaps it’d be better to speak of the Kings now. House is infamous amongst us for wiping out the Kings in 66% of the outcomes where the player personally let them live. This leaves a bad taste in our mouths and for good reason – it is by far the darkest mark on House’s character that we see all game. I cannot justify it. But I can try explain it.
The Kings rose to prominence as a de-facto government and police force for Freeside after House pulled his personnel back onto the Strip. However, true to Elvis, they are rather rebellious. They care little for “The Man” and everything for “The People”. House is THE personification of “The Man”, and thus represents the Kings’ ideological opponent. Although House does care for the people in the long-term sense, he’s ice-cold and operates from a high-horse of sorts (not that he really has much choice anymore). This contrasts with the Kings, who help their people baby step by baby step, as equals.
House would find the Kings to be idealistic, but backwards and ineffectual. The Kings would find House to be pragmatic, but too much of a control freak. Whilst House allows many freedoms, his core directives as an employer are non-negotiable; His directives thus feel more like ultimatums at times, which is something the Kings find abhorrent as shown in Kings’ Gambit if you get Colonel Moore to back you - They’d rather die than accept an Ultimatum.
Remember that the Kings as a whole are a rainbow of different tribals who refused to work for House, but also refused to leave Vegas and thus suffered for it. They’re mostly hooligans who occasionally do good things for their community under the direction of a compassionate man. Yet, as we see with the handling of the local water pump, their morality is strained when resources become scarce, just like many other factions of note. Still, they are the Chaotic to House’s Lawful.
It’s thus no surprise that fighting breaks out when House chooses to move back into Freeside after a few years. The only way they live is if they decide to take revenge against NCR troops and squatters during the Second Battle of Hoover Dam, wherein House deems an occupation of Freeside to be unnecessary. Sadly, that only happens if the Courier does something truly, truly awful first.
This is honestly the only regret I had during my House playthrough.
14) The House Always Wins, Part 4
Contrary to popular belief, House isn’t blind to the events on the Strip (Vulpes was a necessary part of the plan to get the Courier into the Fort Bunker for House anyways).
At this stage, the Courier has proven themselves trustworthy. In addition, they’ve either proven themselves an exceptional diplomat (earned the love of a paranoid, isolationist faction armed to the teeth with rockets and artillery) or a thorough and talented killer (wiped out the paranoid, isolationist faction armed to the teeth with rockets and artillery). House would prefer the former, but isn’t too against the latter (by his own words if you do kill off the Boomers). At any rate, the Courier is given a list of leads and is told to investigate the Omertas and – if it turns out they threaten the Strip – either wipe them out, or regain their allegiance through a change in management. House admits by his own word that Vegas is only his because he worked to put himself in a position to bargain for it. He won’t let anyone – not even the supposed “elite” of his ventures – jeopardize his work.
He saw Benny coming, only miscalculated how/ when it would happen. He sees the Omertas coming, and sends the Courier to check on them before anything can happen.
The only thing on the Strip that slips by House without the Courier’s intervention are the White Gloves returning to cannibalism, although that may have had something to do with the fact that their highest ranking member was opposed to returning to those ways and generally punishes cannibalism with death, only reconsidering if the Courier decides to sneakily feed one of their friends to them.
“Anyways, moving on.”
15) The House Always Wins, Part 5
This quest marks an interesting turning point in House’s ventures. It’s the first time House explicitly instructs the Courier to destroy another faction’s hold in the Mojave without accepting any other alternative, standing in stark contrast to the general hands-off approach he usually takes. Sure, the overall directives were still absolute before, but methods and outcomes were generally open to discussion. But not now. He only does this when he feels exceptionally strong about something. In this case, it’s the Brotherhood of Steel. And boy does he hate them.
He is dismissive towards the NCR.
He is derisive towards the Legion.
He hates the Brotherhood of Steel.
But why?
House calls them terrorists. From the context of a Fallout 3 Player, that’d sound absurd. From the context of a Fallout 1 or 2 player, it’d still sound a little odd, but at least somewhat credible. From the context of someone aware of the Brotherhood War, it makes perfect sense. For those of you who don’t know, it went something like this:
*Just the Brotherhood Now: Hey, what are you doing?
*NCR: Oh, just taking some Enclave tech to study. Gotta increase our Science production.
*BoS: Good. That stuff is mine. Because we trust you so much, we’re going to assume you’re going to just hand it right over to us now.
*NCR: Um, it’s not yours. Anyways, why don’t you want us have it?
*BoS: Because we don’t actually trust you.
And with that, the BoS declared war on the NCR. With superior weapons and armour, the BoS was initially doing rather well, but in the long run the NCR began to cream them because NCR is an actual country with its own infrastructure and logistics. BoS are all crazy-isolationist and thus struggled to replenish numbers. Despite being able to take on many NCR troops at once, the loss of each Paladin set the BoS back immensely as they’d also often lose not only the Power Armour (s)he was wearing, but also a vital splash of their gene puddle. Conversely, the loss of an NCR trooper, or even a dozen of them, had little larger impact on the nation-state as a whole.
Feeling salty from their losses, the BoS did the only thing that made sense at the time.
*BoS: Hey NCR, nice gold reserves.
*NCR: Thanks…?
*BoS:…be a shame if something happened to them.
And with that, the BoS singlehandedly caused the NCR’s economy to tank by irrevocably destroying the gold backing their currency. In other words, Chomps Lewis suffers because some dudes who wear metal got triggered over who gets to keep the Enclave’s toaster. The NCR responded by angrily storming BoS bunkers wherever they could be found. The Brotherhood War still rages to this day, but has now mostly devolved to cat-and-mouse games.
Why is this relevant to House? Consider how dependent he has been (and will be) on the strength of the NCR economy to fund his ventures – without customers, he has no income. No income, no means to recover some of the little resources remaining that are needed for his plans. Consider the extent to which the BoS trashed NCR’s economy. Consider now that the BoS also claims that their goal is to prevent another Nuclear Armageddon. Finally, consider that the BoS displayed total ignorance in what caused that Armageddon in the first place by utterly destroying (or fanatically hoarding) resources on a world that has already almost killed itself over a lack of resources.
The BoS are not only hypocrites. They’re stupid.
And that’s why House tells the Courier they should be killed for being “Ridiculous!” Their ridiculousness gets other people (and even themselves!) killed quite often. As for them being labelled as “terrorists”? If the bombing at Redding wasn’t enough, we get a delightful insight into the matter from Christine Royce.
Bear in mind that she is not only a member of the Brotherhood of Steel, but also a member of the Circle of Steel. This means she represents the BoS’ sense of justice. Remember that.
When we meet her, she had just emerged from an Auto-Doc that had been constantly operating on her without her consent. By listening to the operation through her collar, we hear saws buzzing and frantic breathing, pounding. The procedure of replacing her vocal cords had been happening, over and over, for two weeks. Christine’s traumatized enough by the experience that she palpitates near not only other Auto-Docs, but near any dark enclosed spaces that make funny sounds.
She assumes Elijah trapped her there, and uses that belief to fuel her desire for revenge. If you convince her that Dean did it (which he did)? She forgives Dean instantly, assuming you were nice to her earlier. Why?
“I've... done worse. Much worse... and for more hopeless causes, and I will again.”
Holy cow. Worse than two weeks of non-consensual surgery without anesthetics for most of it? And she’d do it to others again? And she represents the BoS’ sense of justice? Holy cow.
Whether it’s fitting bomb collars to unfortunate prospectors and sending them against elite NCR troops their Paladins are too afraid to fight themselves (which happens if you find their bunker early on without Veronica) or bravely massacring clinics (determinant outcome in I Could Make You Care), the Brotherhood shows itself to be very, very dirty.
And unlike many other factions like NCR, House or even Legion (none are spotless, but I personally detest the third one for Caesar’s rampant Revisionism, amongst other sins), the sketchy things BoS do does not even come with the promise of a future.
Aside from the odd Radical like Elijah, they don’t advance. They steal pre-existing tech and coast off of it, with no real plans to improve. They don’t grow. They only hoard. House, as a self-made man, likely finds that disgusting. House didn’t even inherit his family business. He had to found his own company, build it up from nothing and then buy the family business out.
The Brotherhood? They’re Pre-War military deserters (and their descendants) who used the materiel they stole to go ahead and steal more shit, using the massive initial tech gap between them and the average Wastelander to push people around so they can keep stealing even more shit, THEN act like saints when/if they decide to share some of what they stole with the outsiders they stole from. They treat their man-written Codex as divine scripture and use it as an excuse to not think.
In the same way that Followers of the Apocalypse (who are also dedicated to preventing another Armageddon, by the way) see through the façade put up by Caesar, so does House see through the façade of the Brotherhood. He knows their history too well to buy into their rhetoric.
Using his knowledge of the Brotherhood War, House recommends you defeat them by activating the self-destruct mechanism (another product of the Brotherhood’s great wisdom) installed deep within the Mojave BoS’ bunker before they try repeat their follies upon Vegas. Because this mechanism is activated deep within the bunker, it can be safely assumed that if the Courier gets out in time, everyone else could have too. But they don’t.
Darwin is vindicated once again.
16) The House Always Wins, Part 6
Ironic, isn’t it? A foreign power wants your head on a plate, but here you are protecting their Head of State. House is aware of Kimball’s unpopularity – both within and without NCR territory - and knows how quickly martyrdom could change that. According to projections, Legion had an 83.75% chance in succeeding with their assassination attempt. House didn’t want them to succeed.
Intending to build a positive special relationship between NCR and the future New Vegas FEZ, House sends the Courier to protect Kimball from Legion assassins (so Kimball will be blamed for the inevitable NCR retreat from the Mojave rather than Vegas). Here, he’ll show appreciation to a Courier with powerful NCR relations or utter scorn towards a Courier who alienated them already.
Through dialogue, we know House is beginning to drop hints of his power by sending and controlling one of his Securitrons as far as Hoover Dam in order to prepare Ranger Grant for your arrival. We also find out that House hates having to wait and see what happens. Although he is hands-off, he prefers being able to influence events rather than watching them pan out helplessly (as he has been forced to for so long).
The President’s safety now delegated, House turns his thoughts towards Hoover Dam. At this time, despite NCR Engineer Lawson’s best efforts, the Dam is not operating at full power. House will change that…just not yet. Not until it is uncontestably his.
17) Wild Card: Finishing Touches
This isn’t a House quest, but it gives us an important insight into his character.
“Well, some of Mr. House's projections predict a ‘moderate probability of civil instability subsequent to the NCR being driven from the Vegas region.’ One of the ‘mitigating contingencies’ he planned was to enlist the Followers to provide increased medical aid throughout the region. Just seems like it might help keep things stable when we go independent. Not that I know what I'm talking about!”
No matter what you think of the NCR, it can’t be denied that they have helped bring relative stability to the Mojave. House isn’t oblivious to this, and is aware of the problem involved in making the NCR military withdraw. His response, according to the far-too-nice-yet-honest Yes Man?
Fund the Followers and spread their humanitarian efforts across the Mojave. You’ll never hear about this if you play through House’s questline. You won’t even hear it from Yes-Man if you only betray House at the last minute. The implication there is that House successfully enlists the Followers, THE most selfless and humanitarian group in the setting, without the Courier’s help.
And he doesn’t even make a PR stunt out of it.
The implications of that are enormous.
This was only “one” of the contingencies he planned, too. Makes you wonder what else House put in place to ensure Mojave stability after the Second Battle of Hoover Dam.
Anyways, it kinda explains why Arcade feels “disillusioned” with the Followers in his peaceful “Stay in Freeside” ending, since his own feelings about House are less than positive.
18) The House Always Wins, Part 7
The Second Battle of Hoover Dam is looming overhead. With General Oliver’s tunnel vision becoming ever more acute, House sees his time to shine. A human agent is sent to Eldorado Substation to reroute some power from NCR-designated locations to the Lucky 38, jumpstarting its long-dormant reactor. With the Mk. 2 OS upgrade installed, it was now safe for the reactor to operate indefinitely. And so it was done. Vegas now has all the power it could ever need, completely independent of Hoover Dam, Eldorado or even Helios One…but the power generated by those amenities will be needed for other purposes.
19) All Or Nothing
“Perhaps you feel my ideals are unrealistic dreams, but I prefer to think of them as long-term goals of the highest order – goals that transcend generations. Yes, they are far too mammoth for the years of any mortal –of any of us- but we lay the foundations anyways. Nightmares may happen on their own. What we do now may be the only way someone sees good dreams realized within their lifetime.”
Centuries of preparation, waiting and recovering has now come to a head. The plan that was meant to commence before the Great War would soon continue. Whilst Legion and NCR fight over the Dam “like two dogs over a rib – perhaps of their master, long dead…”, House’s agent, escorted by a Securitron, begins the task of infiltrating the insides of Hoover Dam.
Just like for the Eldorado Substation, House gave them an Override Chip (which he had made Pre-War) to allow them to reroute power. This time, it’d be a massive jolt to wake up the Dam entirely…not to mention the hundreds upon hundreds of armoured robots waiting beneath Fortification Hill.
House confirms the scope of his ambitions by not allowing Hoover Dam’s generators to be destroyed – unlike Yes Man, he does not give that option, even though he really doesn’t need the Dam for Vegas. House’s dreams go beyond merely keeping his city to himself – it’s just a means to another end.
Upon rerouting the power, House prints the NCR’s terms of surrender, intending his agent to pass it along to them once the Legion is dealt with. Whilst the NCR is still battling on their half of the Dam, House has set Caesar’s camp ablaze, small groups of Securitrons cutting swathes through Legion Centurions with rocket and grenade bombardments.
For those of you who haven’t read those terms, it can be summarized as this:
There’s a lot of debate over whether the initial prices set (5 caps per gallon of water, 5 caps per kw/h electricity) are fair or not. YouTuber Oxhorn made a noble but ultimately laughable attempt at trying to deduce this. By in-game standards, 5 caps for a gallon is great considering less water than that normally costs at least double those caps, if not more. If we go by the thought that 1 cap = 1 bottle of water (according to an old practice amongst the Hub’s Water Merchants IIRC), it’s less great.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. The fine print means House can change the prices whenever he wants, and according to JSawyer, he wants to play economic hardball with the NCR. He doesn’t want them to collapse, but after winning an event ironically mirroring the original USA's Independence War, he’s still going to charge them as much as he feels he can get away with.
20) Conclusion
And that’s that. House either succeeds in taking the Dam, or he dies long before. “All or Nothing” indeed. It should be worth stating that House’s dreams of achieving interstellar colonization is, ironically, something of a gamble in itself. Either his exploratory ships succeed and he hits the metaphorical jackpot, revealing staggering resources with which to truly revitalize Earth…or they fail, and House would’ve simply sent vital resources and personnel into the void to be lost forever.
Until then, Vegas will “continue to be the sole place in the Wasteland where fortunes are won and lost in the blink of an eye.” Things will be stable, if not always warm. I am sorry if I came across as too aggressive at any point. I believe all endings are valid (except the Legion as it’s presented), but House provides the safest long-term solution. In the end, you must decide if the suffering he allows in the short term will be justified by the long term security/ prosperity he is capable of providing.
You must also decide if his shortcomings justify his death. My objective was to make an attempt at writing the outline of House’s life from beginning to end. I hope you enjoyed!
Now, to end this in true Mr. House fashion:
“/// Will revise and finish this up later. Have set the age at death to update automatically. Obit makes salient points but "pearls before swine," of course. Let's hope the ingrates never have cause to read it. Who knows how many of them are even literate!”
You’ve been wonderful readers! Thank you and goodnight.
submitted by DarthAdjutor to fnv [link] [comments]

Living out our fantasies in real life my wife was a hooker

Well I feel the need to preface this story by saying this was 100% consensual and not your typical rape fantasy, and it took me totally by surprise which made it even better.

Back when my wife and I were first dating one day we were lay in bed are an exhausting suck and fuck session, you know when this are still new both of you are trying your best to impress the other so you go all out this inevitably requires some rest in between, this is where we chit chat about sex our likes and dislikes. So, the topic of fantasies comes around when my girlfriend no hot wife tells me she has a rape fantasy but has never been comfortable enough to share it with anyone of her partners.

A little FYI she says that she had only been with four men before me which I find hard to believe knowing how sexual she is, but she has always been truthful with me and can always supply proof so I’m ok with the four previous lover’s story.
So, the first part of my prostitute/hooker fantasy with her playing the role of a high priced call girl was fulfilled beyond my wildest dreams. She totally disposed of all her inhibitions and fully got into character both looking and acting the role of a high price prostitute and she even kept my $500 to further add to the realism. When I mentioned to her about the money, she said I earned it buddy and yes, she did every single penny. She told me she couldn’t wait for part two the street walker street whore scenario, now if it ended with the call girl episode, I would have been a happy guy, but she was equally as excited anticipating and acting out the role of a street walker and had even purchased a special outfit for her role as she told me she has to get into character and like before it was to be a total surprise. Two weeks had passed since out Atlantic City casino adventure, while speaking with her while she was at work on her lunch hour, she simply said I’m ready we’re going to do it tonight. At first, I said do what babe? She said in a whisper so no one in the office could hear her, be your whore. My cock instantly reacted and began to grow in my pants, I was so self-conscious that I thought other patrons at the burger place could see my increasing bulge. My response was very cool I can’t wait, she said me neither I have my outfit in my car along with my bag. She always spent weekends at my house and most week night when she didn’t have her kids. She laughed and said if her asshole ex-husband only knew what she was going to do tonight and just laughed. He had not only sexually repressed her but did his best to keep her under his thumb although meek and mild mannered on the outside she was tough on the inside and that crap didn’t last very long which lead her eventually to me.


She got to my house the usual time around 4:30pm about an hour before I arrived, she was waiting inside for me, with a meal prepared she was wearing her bathrobe and was barefoot except for her black stockings. When I went to take a peak, she slapped my hand and said you know the rules it cost money to look and I’m not on the clock yet. I put my hands up and said ok, Its cool. We finished dinner and she told me to go sit and watch TV Around 10pm she called down to me to go wait for her in the bathroom. I was like OK this is getting kinky I like Kinky! So, I did as she asked, and I would hear her coming down the stairs and walk out the backdoor but before she did, she told me to give her five minutes then come out to the truck. I did as I was ordered and when I hopped into my truck, she was sitting in the passenger seat wearing a long black raincoat and a blanket covered her legs. Her hair was in her signature wild tease which got my juices flowing. She told me to drive I said where to she said I’ll tell you when I’m ready but gave me some general directions. Before I knew it, we were headed for a shore town and not one of the better areas to be honest. Now I had a prearranged deal worked out with a state trooper buddy of mine who I served with in the Marines and worked with while employed with an unnamed government agency and let’s leave it at that. he would be my backup in case the whole thing went south. She knew nothing of my back up plan and I was going to keep it that way. So, when we got to where she directed me, she said pull in that alley. Ok here’s the deal I’m going to walk up to the corner and make a right turn. I think you should be able to find me the rest is up to you, are you sure you still want to do this, she asked I can just give you a blowjob right here. I thought to myself no way was I going to be the one to back out, maybe this was all a ploy on her part to get out of doing it. So, I said ok sounds like a plan, do you want me to wait until your halfway up the block or anything like that she said yeah wait till I turn the corner. She then turned on the overhead console lighting and pulled off her coat and blanket. She was wearing a pair of patent leather shiny thigh-high black boots a hot pink pvc bra that barely held her massive boobs from spilling out under a black fishnet top and her black motorcycle jacket and a black pvc miniskirt that barely covered her round ass. Her boots almost met her ass cheeks because she is not very tall but is packed, stacked and built for fun. She took out a tube of lipstick that was also hot pink to match her top. She looked at me and said do you remember what I told you a few weeks ago in Atlantic city, I looked at her and she said I’m not wearing any panties, as she smiled her devilish smile and closed the door. For a brief second, I was like holy crap I’ve created a monster a out of control middle-aged nymphomaniac.


As I watched my sweet girlfriend saunter up the block. I was both shocked and turned on and could feel my bulge growing in my pants. My buddy called and asked where she was, he said he had been tracking me via GPS, I gave him the location and told him the deal, he asked what was she wearing and I described her, and he was like I don’t think she’ll be hard to spot in that outfit. I put a call into a few of the locals I’m tight with and had them sweep the area for pimp’s, but he said honestly, you’d never see them here closer to the convention center. When she reached the top of the street, she looked back at me and gave me a little wave goodbye. I backed out of the alley and headed parallel to the block she just turned the corner onto and kicked my big V8 Chevy to the floor and raced up to the second street the first being a one way, this was where she told me she wanted to turn. Next thing I know my buddy’s voice blurts out over the speaker Holy Crap dude she is fucking smoking hot damn she really looks like a hooker fuck my dick is getting hard, think she’d give me a quick blowjob. I said you only wish I’ll keep you in mind. He told me not to worry she was well protected I said say again. He laughed and half of the local PD is here looking to get an eyeful. When I turned the corner, I spotted a few ladies of the evening on several corners, but she wasn’t among them. I drove slowly down the block until I spotted her bent over with her tit’s almost hanging out chatting with a car full of young guys. She said they propositioned her to blow all of them and they would pay extra to finger her. She told them that she doesn’t do car full and said she doesn’t give group discounts like the one smart assed kid asked her for. She said besides I’m waiting for one of my regulars. Looking my way, she spotted my black dually slowly cruising down the block. Oh, here he comes now sorry boys and she crossed the street so she would be on the passenger side. When I stopped and put the window down, she asked if I wanted a date. I said sure baby how much $50 for a blowjob $100 to fuck me. I thought to myself a pretty good deal considering what I paid her a few weeks ago. She said that not a combination deal, $50 plus $100 honey. I said deal hop in and as she did, I asked so you have a place in mind, she said turn left here and go down to the light and make a left down that alley. When I turned into the alley, she said this is good, now what do you want. I said both she said ok if you want to cum while you’re in my mouth it’s another $50, I’ll get you hard, but you have to help and then I’ll fuck you. Let’s see your money stud. I puled out $200 in cash which she snatched up and said so you want a trip around the world with Gigi I guess that was her hooker name. I smiled and said have at it! Gigi, she started to unzip my pants and pulled them down and tugged at my underwear releasing my cock. She said so what’s the deal wife won’t give you a blowjob she asked. I said no wife that’s why I got rid of her, but I met this really sweet girl who is kind of timid and really isn’t into sucking cock. She said don’t you worry baby I’ll suck you so good you’ll forget her name. With that she started stroking my cock and it didn’t take her long before I was fully erect and the precum was starting to dribble from my cock. She slowly lowered her mouth on to my member and I couldn’t believe what she had just done. She had a condom in her mouth and put it on my cock with her lips. She said I said you could cum with your cock in my mouth nothing about swallowing your load baby. I was truly amazed at this little trick and she later told me she had done a lot of research and say a video of how hookers did this pretty regularly. So, she proceeded to suck my latex covered cock like the highly skilled cock sucker she was. I thought to myself that must taste horrible she later told me non lubricated condoms. I also thought man she really could be a hooker or a high priced prostitute with her skills.

Well she was sucking me for all I was worth when I asked if it would cost extra to see her tits, she smiled and said no not for you baby I like you a lot. She sat up straddled my lap and lifted up her top exposing her massive tits barely being held in place by that piece of hot pink pvc engineering marvel. She said you want to see Gigi’s tits go right ahead as she pulled them out exposing her big nipples that were hard as rocks. I looked at her and said magnificent can I suck them please. See that what I like a gentleman and said of course you can. I proceeded to suck and lick her nipples and was thoroughly getting into it and I know she was too. When she stopped me and said clocks ticking baby let me finish your blowjob. She hopped off me and began sucking my cock I started to moan and groan she stopped and asked you ready to cum baby, I said yes Gigi I am about to blow my load, she smiled and said good. You’re a nice guy and she sucked my cock with a fever like I have never seen her do before, she later told me she was so fucking wet by now she could have taken a horse sized cock like the one guy had in a porno we watch while in our hotel room in AC. Well it didn’t take long, and I let out some hard grunts as she continued to suck my dick and true to her word, I blew my entire load with my cock in her mouth the entire time. When she finally took me out of her mouth she laughed and marveled at the load of spunk in the reservoir tip of the condom. Damn baby that some impressive load I would have enjoyed swallowing that much cum. She removed it from my cock, I started to open the window for her to toss it out and she said no I have a special treat. So, she gingerly placed it on the dashboard. She now went down on my cock and was intent on getting me hard enough to fuck. I said how about I take you home and we fuck there. She smiled and said that will cost me extra, but she was worth it. I told her I would have to stop at the ATM on the way she said not a problem but first let me fuck you like you payed me to do. She told me this is where you helping comes in play with yourself for Gigi help me get you hard enough to fuck. I began to stroke my semi erect but far from flaccid penis as she smiled and said It looks like you have a lot of practice baby, she teased me about jerking off and asked if I thought about my little girlfriend when I did. I said all the time, oh you poor baby you have to jerkoff because she won’t suck your nice dick you do have a very nice one you know. All her talk was getting me excited and then she said let Gigi take over and show you how its done baby. She started sucking my cock and it didn’t take long before she got me as hard as a rock which wasn’t a difficult thing to do. She said now let me fuck that big fat cock of yours baby. She straddled my lap and then lowered herself down sliding her soaking wet pussy onto my rigid cock. She let out a moan and said oh yes that feels so fucking good. I decided to play along and said I bet you say that to every John, she stopped in mid fuck and looked me in the eyes and said are you calling me a liar I said no Gigi I’m sorry thank you for the compliment. She smiled and said I love a gentleman. She continued to fuck me and increased her pace and kept slamming down on my cock taking it as deep all the way filling her pussy. She said you are such a nice guy Gigi is going to let you cum in her pussy no extra charge. I said oh thank you Gigi that’s fucking great. She continued to fuck me, and I played with her bouncing big tits squeezing them and tweaking her nipples that she could have poked an eye out with by now. It didn’t take long before she started to moan and say she was going to cum. I talked as dirty as I knew to her I said fuck me you dirty whore, how many cocks has that pussy fucked you little big titted slut. I think you really like my cock don’t you Gigi say it tell me. She blurted out oh yes baby I like your cock. No! you don’t you whore you love my cock say it my slut, tell me you’re my slut and only want my cock. Yes! Yes! Yes, I am your slut I love your big fat cock please fill my pussy with your cum and take me home and make me your whore. I promise never to fuck another cock. I said yes, you’ll be my private whore within seconds I could feel myself getting ready to explode in her cunt and grabbed her hips and slammed her down on my cock, she began to scream, and moan and I knew from past experiences she was cumming and cumming big time. I did my best to hold off but couldn’t stand it anymore and release my clenching muscles and exploded filling her cunt full of cum. She continued to fuck me and shuttered and shook, her body was gyrating, and she came a second time. I hadn’t noticed that she grabbed the cum filled condom and put it to her lips and sucked every ounce of my cum from it like one of those ice filled things you used to get from the ice cream man in the hot blistering summer.

When she sucked every last ounce, she tossed it aside and put both hands around my face and pulled me to her and planted a lip lock on my mouth and spit my own cum into my mouth. We continued to tongue kiss for what seemed like ten minutes. When we parted, she had cum on her lips and licked them clean with her tongue. She sat there kissing me and keeping my cock in her pussy, she said I love you so much thank you! thank you! thank you! I told he that I loved her too. I complimented her on how much it took for her to do that, she said oh I have my inner slut that I get in touch with every now and then, I said that I was glad she did but what I meant was just the shear danger factor if you will must have contributed to the excitement of it. She said oh most definitely, but I knew I wa safe with you there the entire time. I smiled and said yes but there was a little time when I wasn’t there. She said she had that covered, I looked at her and said do tell. She said remember my friend Beth you met at that party last summer. I said sure the chic with the Harley. Yes, that her well she’s a detective here in town so I let her in on my little plan and she offered to be my backup and actually directed me to this particular location. She was there on the street as well just in case anything went wrong. Well as it turned out both our backups had a front row seat. My Trooper buddy and two of the local PD that he clued in slipped down to where we were parked during our fuck n suck session. I totally forgot that my friend was tracking my phone’s GPS. Well t appears we had an audience the entire time, when I revealed this to her later on, she told me her pussy got instantly wet to find out she was performing for an audience. A voyeuristic side of her I had yet to meet.



She asked if I thought I could drive home wither mounted on my cock the entire way. I laughed and said I kind of doubted it but if she wanted to turn around I would l would let her steer and I’d work the pedals. She said oh that sounds like fun but maybe another time now take me home I am your slut now. She stayed in character the entire rest of the weekend and had a nice assortment of slutty clothing and lingerie to go with her planes
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What's happening around town (Wed, Apr 25th - Tue, May 1st)

Oklahoma City's event list.

Ongoing

Wednesday, Apr 25th

  • 51st Annual Angel & Friends Celebration (Arts Council - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:30pm You’re invited to the 51st annual Angels & Friends Party – Oklahoma City’s finest celebration of spring and Arts Council OKC’s ONLY fundraising party throughout the year. All proceeds support year-round, free and low-cost programming, like All Access Arts, Festival of the Arts and the Sunday Twilight Concert Series. This 21+ party will…
  • 🎭 2018 Oklahoma History Conference (Oklahoma History Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Apr 27th Start Time: 12:00pm The OHS is pleased to present the 2018 Oklahoma History Conference at the Oklahoma History Center, Wednesday through Friday, April 25–27. This year’s theme is “OHS125: Collecting, Preserving, and Sharing for the Next Generation” in honor of the 125th anniversary of the OHS. The conference will include 18 presentation sessions on a range…
  • The Book of Mormon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th The Book of Mormon is coming to Oklahoma City's Civic Center Music Hall. Get ready for hours of laughter at this…
  • 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Baseball vs Northeastern State (Edmond) Start Time: 3:00pm University of Central Oklahoma Baseball vs Northeastern State http://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=5905
  • 🎨 Collage Collective (IAO Gallery - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Flex your creative muscles and join us at IAO Gallery for a fun night of collages! Collage Collective is a relaxed, creative workshop that gathers locals together and brings out the artist in all of us. Admission is $5 - this covers your collage supplies plus sweets, snacks, and drinks. We will also have a cash bar for wine and beer!
    There are…
  • David Byrne - American Utopia Tour (The Criterion - Oklahoma City) David Byrne who was the founding member, principal songwriter, and lead singer and guitarist of the American new wave band Talking Heads. He is a multi-instrumentalist and is known for his distinctive voice. Byrne has released his own solo recordings and worked with various media including film, photography, opera, fiction and non-fiction. He…
  • 🏆 Oklahoma City Dodgers vs. Iowa Cubs (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Start Time: 7:05pm Come experience America's favorite pastime in downtown Oklahoma City as the OKC Dodgers take on the Iowa Cubs in a…
  • Early Season Pass Processing (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Apr 27th Start Time: 9:00am Skip the processing lines and have your Season Pass card made before your first visit to the park! Our office is open 9:00a-5:00p, Monday-Friday.
  • Festival of the Arts (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Known as Oklahoma City's annual "rite of spring," the Festival of the Arts is a six-day community…
  • Heather Maloney (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City)
  • Local Man Ruins Everything / Plastic Smile (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm Local Man Ruins Everything and Plastic Smile take over The Deli for an amazing evening of Jazz/Rock fusion. The product is absolutely tantalizing and will get your brain and ears moving. 10pm 21+ $5
  • Lyric Theatre - Fun Home (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Start Time: 7:30pm Based on Alison Bechdel’s best-selling graphic memoir, Fun Home takes the audience on three different experiences…
  • 😂 Mike Speenberg (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Apr 28th
  • OCU in Recital: String Chamber Ensembles (Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Join student string chamber ensembles, under the direction of Prof. Tomasz Zieba, for their final performances of the semester. Music begins 8 p.m. Wednesday, April 25, in the BMC's Medium Rehearsal Hall. Free and open to all!
  • Parents Supporting Parents (Mental Health Association Oklahoma main office - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm This group is for caretakers and parents who are supporting an individual managing the complications often associated with having a pervasive development disorder such as autism or aspergers disorder. This group will also provide education and support to those parents who have loved ones with diagnosed or undiagnosed mental, emotional,…
  • 🎭 Producer Beat Battle with Special Guest Judge- 9th Wonder (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 7:00pm The University of Central Oklahoma’s (UCO) Office of Diversity & Inclusion, in collaboration with the UCO Academy of Contemporary Music (ACM) will have the first ever Beat Battle. The beat battle is an opportunity for producers who make music to showcase their beats and production expertise to the public and guest judge, 9th Wonder. Faculty,…
  • Producer Beat Battle with Special Guest Judge- 9th Wonder (ACM @ UCO - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm The University of Central Oklahoma’s (UCO) Office of Diversity & Inclusion, in collaboration with the UCO Academy of Contemporary Music (ACM) will have the first ever Beat Battle. The beat battle is an opportunity for producers who make music to showcase their beats and production expertise to the public and guest judge, 9th Wonder. Faculty,…
  • 🎓 See Your Score Soar! (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am It's National Money Smart Week! Let's get smart about our money and learn how to understand a credit score and ways to build and improve credit. By learning how to avoid credit pitfalls, you can see your score soar! This workshop will be presented by Shana Lewis, Community Outreach Specialist with True Sky Credit Union. Following the workshop,…
  • Senior Wellness Wednesday in the Gardens (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am
  • These are the Breaks (Education Building - Edmond) Start Time: 2:00pm 9th Wonder will discuss the underworld of sampling in hip-hop, bridging its connection to various music generations through the exploration of vinyl, and the use of vinyl sampling and improvisation. For more information on 9th Wonder, visit http://www.9thwonder.com/
  • 🎨 Unlocking the Vault: Mysteries and Marvels of the Museum (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Apr 27th Start Time: 10:00am Museums typically exhibit only a very small percentage of their collections. In the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum’s vast holdings, specific pieces, for one reason or another, are rarely on view. This exhibition presents a variety of items that are seldom “out of the vault,” and gives the visitor a unique look at why, what, and…
  • Wednesday Game Night (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Play the games you love for jackpots and then play more games you love for Extra Cash & Prizes on Game Night at Remington Park, every Wednesday! Starting at 6pm on Wednesday nights at Remington Park, just make sure to use your Club Remington Card as you play in the casino. Doing so may get you selected via hot seat drawings to make Free Spins,…
  • 🏆 West Conf Qtrs: Jazz at Thunder Rd 1 Hm Gm 3 (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:30pm Tickets for Round 1, Home Game 3 will be available directly from the team starting on Friday, April 20 at 10 a.m. Can't wait to purchase tickets? You can purchase tickets from other fans and prices are determined by the seller and not the team. A 20% service fee for all resale tickets will be added to the cost of each ticket at checkout. ***VERY…

Thursday, Apr 26th

  • 104 Annual OU School of Visual Arts Student Exhibition Opening (Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us for an opening reception to enjoy hors d'oeuvres and live music, as well as this year's student awards ceremony. This competitive juried show is held each spring and highlights the diverse works of art created by visual art students from the University of Oklahoma. Multiple awards with cash prizes are presented to students, including the…
  • 🎭 2018 Oklahoma History Conference (Oklahoma History Center - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 12:00pm The OHS is pleased to present the 2018 Oklahoma History Conference at the Oklahoma History Center, Wednesday through Friday, April 25–27. This year’s theme is “OHS125: Collecting, Preserving, and Sharing for the Next Generation” in honor of the 125th anniversary of the OHS. The conference will include 18 presentation sessions on a range…
  • 🎭 Backwards Broadway (Noir Bistro & Bar - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Taking inspiration from shows like MCC’s “Miscast”, “Backwards Broadway” is an evening of gender-bending, ethnicity-twisting, mind-blowing takes on Broadway hits, presented by some of OKC’s finest musicians and performers! Singers will perform spectacular versions of songs from Broadway musicals…as characters that they would and/or…
  • The Book of Mormon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th The Book of Mormon is coming to Oklahoma City's Civic Center Music Hall. Get ready for hours of laughter at this…
  • 🎭 "Celebrating ‘Oklahoma!’ at 75. (Oklahoma History Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm On Thursday, April 26, the Oklahoma Historical Society (OHS) and Oklahoma City University (OCU) will present the musical program “Celebrating Oklahoma! at 75.” To mark the 75th anniversary of the Broadway debut of Oklahoma! students from the OCU Wanda L. Bass School of Music will perform songs from the musical. Oklahoma! was the first…
  • 🏆 Club One Special (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm The popular Club 1 Special is back for all live racing dates at Remington Park. Enjoy this spectacular offer on every live race date, regardless of post time, day or night. The Club 1 Special includes: 2 Box Seats with a great view of the racing action A bucket of Coors, Coors Light or Miller Lite beer A basket of delicious Hot Wings 2 Racing…
  • Disney Institute - Coming to ROSE STATE College! (Rose State College - Midwest City) Start Time: 8:00am Soft Skill Training by the experts at the Disney Institute! Come hone your organization's customer service to a superb level by the people who have built a world-reknown empire. Disney specialists will share their expertise and trade secrets that are used to maintain the "happiest place on Earth."
  • 🏆 Oklahoma City Dodgers vs. Iowa Cubs (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Start Time: 7:05pm Come experience America's favorite pastime in downtown Oklahoma City as the OKC Dodgers take on the Iowa Cubs in a…
  • Early Season Pass Processing (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 9:00am Skip the processing lines and have your Season Pass card made before your first visit to the park! Our office is open 9:00a-5:00p, Monday-Friday.
  • 🎓 Emergency Management Speaker Series: When Tornadoes Strike (Rose State College - Midwest City) Start Time: 6:30pm
  • Festival of the Arts (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Known as Oklahoma City's annual "rite of spring," the Festival of the Arts is a six-day community…
  • 🏆 FireLake Arena Sports Domino Tournament (Firelake Arena - Shawnee) Start Time: 6:00pm Doubles Only Domino Tournament at FireLake Arena, April 26th! $5 per player to enter. Located at the North VIP Room in FireLake Arena, 18145 Old Rangeline Road, Shawnee, OK 74801. First 15 teams accepted, no entries on day of tournament. Contact Darin L. Greene, FireLake Arena Sports Coordinator at (405) 273-1637 for more information.
  • 🎨 Girls Night Out (Tipsy Artist - Guthrie) Start Time: 5:30pm Gypsy Glam Roadshow is hosting a Girls Night Out at Tipsy Artist Paint Palace. Tickets must be purchased in advance. Cost is $75 and includes, dinner, wine, painting instructed by Tipsy Artist. A fun event with your girlfriends.
  • Hail The Sun (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Hail the Sun with Overcast $12 tickets on sale now at ticketstorm.com, charge by phone at 18669661777, or buy in person at any Buy For Less / Uptown Grocery locations or Starship Records in Tulsa.
  • House District 41 Republican Candidate Forum (Piedmont City Hall - Piedmont) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us as we ask the tough questions of these candidates running for House District 41. Denise Hader, Greg Ingle, are all vying for your vote to be your next representative. What would you like us to ask them? Post to this event and let us know!
    https://www.facebook.com/DeniseCrosswhiteHaderOK41/ https://www.facebook.com/IngleStateHouse/…
  • Jonathan Davis (Diamond Ballroom - Oklahoma City) Jonathan Davis formed his strong frontman presence as lead vocalist for popular metal band Korn. Over the past…
  • Lyric Theatre - Fun Home (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Start Time: 7:30pm Based on Alison Bechdel’s best-selling graphic memoir, Fun Home takes the audience on three different experiences…
  • Meditation Class (St Stephen's United Methodist - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Weekly meditation and discussion group conducted by the monks from Oklahoma Buddhist Vihara.
    St. Stephens UMC 6-7pm Look for the shoes.
  • 😂 Mike Speenberg (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Apr 28th
  • Norman Music Festival (Downtown - Norman) Thru Sat, Apr 28th The Norman Music Festival, an annual event held in Norman, features over 100 bands on multiple stages. This music…
  • 🎓 OCCC Signature Series: Bob Woodward (OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:30pm Oklahoma City Community College will host legendary Pulitzer Prize-Winning investigative journalist and author Bob Woodward at 1:30 p.m. Thursday, April 26, 2018, in the college’s Visual and Performing Arts Center Theater. The lecture is free and open to the community.
    The presentation, The Age of the American Presidency, will explore the…
  • Oh Wonder (The Jones Assembly - Oklahoma City) Get your tickets for an evening of pure pop magic when the London-based duo, Oh Wonder, takes the stage at OKC's…
  • 🎓 Oklahoma Connections Academy Free Family Information Session (Mustang Town Center - Mustang) Start Time: 6:30pm Oklahoma Connections Academy, a tuition-free online public school, will host a free information session for families interested in learning about its online program and individualized approach to education. Oklahoma Connections Academy is accredited by the North Central Association Commission on Accreditation and School Improvement (NCA CASI),…
  • Raised Bed Gardening (Legend Assisted Living - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 2:00pm
  • 🎓 Resume Reviews for Success (Pioneer Library System - Moore) Start Time: 6:00pm Are you on the hunt for a job, or are you seeking a career change but not sure how to update your resume? Register now to reserve your 30-minute, one-on-one session with a knowledgeable resume reviewer! Each attendee is allowed a maximum of one, 30-minute session. Please include good contact information so that we may contact you for your…
  • The Space Program: Prereqs & Upsets (Education Building - Edmond) Start Time: 2:00pm Mr. Stevie Johnson will present and release The Space Program: Prereqs & Upsets, which is an audio-recorded demonstration that centers the voices of a Black male, collegian collective who researched the ways hip-hop culture shapes or redefines their lived experiences at predominantly white institutions (PWIs). A seven-track mixtape, inspired by…
  • 🏆 Surf and Turf at The Bricktown Brewery at Remington Park (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 4:00pm
  • Oklahoma City Symphonic Band: American Composers Past and Present (Putnam City High School - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm The Oklahoma City Symphonic Band presents it spring concert "American Composers Past and Present", and will also feature its 2018 Young Artist Competition winner, Taylor Akin, a well-accomplished bassoonist who will perform the Carl Maria von Weber Bassoon Concerto in F Major Op 75. Musical selections performed by the band will include Overture…
  • 🏆 Thursday Night $25 Dinner for 2 at Silks (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm SILKS DINNER for TWO, just $25! – Thursdays in Racing Season The Silks Restaurant is the place for a great value and view of the racing action on Thursday nights throughout the Remington Park 2018 American Quarter Horse, Paint and Appaloosa Season. Enjoy the Silks Dinner for two for just $25, each and every Thursday night! Thursday night…
  • 🎨 Unlocking the Vault: Mysteries and Marvels of the Museum (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 10:00am Museums typically exhibit only a very small percentage of their collections. In the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum’s vast holdings, specific pieces, for one reason or another, are rarely on view. This exhibition presents a variety of items that are seldom “out of the vault,” and gives the visitor a unique look at why, what, and…
  • The Wrap Party Benefiting OK Foster Wishes (Dunlap Codding - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:30pm OK Foster Wishes, a program under OICA, helps fulfill the wish lists submitted to DHS by foster kids across our state. Last year, we fulfilled more than 4,500 of the lists and made certain that every child received a gift through the assistance of donors and people who helped fill wish lists. This party helps us raise the program dollars…

Friday, Apr 27th

  • 🎭 2018 Oklahoma History Conference (Oklahoma History Center - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 12:00pm The OHS is pleased to present the 2018 Oklahoma History Conference at the Oklahoma History Center, Wednesday through Friday, April 25–27. This year’s theme is “OHS125: Collecting, Preserving, and Sharing for the Next Generation” in honor of the 125th anniversary of the OHS. The conference will include 18 presentation sessions on a range…
  • 🎭 Backwards Broadway (Noir Bistro & Bar - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Taking inspiration from shows like MCC’s “Miscast”, “Backwards Broadway” is an evening of gender-bending, ethnicity-twisting, mind-blowing takes on Broadway hits, presented by some of OKC’s finest musicians and performers! Singers will perform spectacular versions of songs from Broadway musicals…as characters that they would and/or…
  • Bell Cow Boil (avilion - Chandler) Celebrate spring and dine on all-you-can-eat crawfish during the Bell Cow Boil in Chandler. Held at the Route 66…
  • The Book of Mormon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th The Book of Mormon is coming to Oklahoma City's Civic Center Music Hall. Get ready for hours of laughter at this…
  • Brett Landry & The Night Shifts And Austin Duplantis (VZD's - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • Brian Gorrell & Jazz Company (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 7:00pm Brian Gorrell serves as Director of Jazz Studies for the nationally respected program at the University of Central Oklahoma Jazz Lab in Edmond. A former pianist for the Lawrence Welk Orchestra, Gorrell also serves as Advisor for UCO's Master of Music in Jazz Studies, teaches Applied Saxophone, Jazz Theory & Analysis 1 & 2, and directs the award…
  • Chicano Batman (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City)
  • 🏆 Club One Special (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm The popular Club 1 Special is back for all live racing dates at Remington Park. Enjoy this spectacular offer on every live race date, regardless of post time, day or night. The Club 1 Special includes: 2 Box Seats with a great view of the racing action A bucket of Coors, Coors Light or Miller Lite beer A basket of delicious Hot Wings 2 Racing…
  • 🎭 The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00pm The UCO Department of Theatre Arts partners up with the @Penny Stinkers Touring Company to present "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)," written by the The Reduced Shakespeare Company. Located in the Mitchell Education Center Room 211. Free admission.
  • 🎭 Deadly Dancing (Ted's Escondido - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:15am Award winning, nationally recognized Whodunit Dinner Theater is performing our 27th year in Oklahoma City. We've been titled the 'Masters of Murder Mystery Mayhem' for good reason — we 'KILL' it! We are available for private show for your group, church and organization so give us a call or email anytime!
  • 🏆 Oklahoma City Dodgers vs. Iowa Cubs (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Start Time: 7:05pm Come experience America's favorite pastime in downtown Oklahoma City as the OKC Dodgers take on the Iowa Cubs in a…
  • Double Point Fridays and Saturdays (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm April in the Remington Park Casino makes Friday and Saturday nights with band better than ever before. Whenever the band is playing on Friday and Saturday nights, you are rewarded with double points for your Club Remington play. When the band does not play, the Hot Seats take over! Enjoy winning casino action every Friday and Saturday night in…
  • Early Season Pass Processing (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 9:00am Skip the processing lines and have your Season Pass card made before your first visit to the park! Our office is open 9:00a-5:00p, Monday-Friday.
  • 🏆 The Eliminator Challenge (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Remington Park racing guests have the opportunity to test their skill and take aim at a Grand Prize worth a minimum of $1,000, every Friday night in April. The Eliminator Challenge returns to Remington Park on Friday nights in April. The game is free to play with a simple objective, pick one horse in each race from Race 3 thru Race 12. As long…
  • Festival of the Arts (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Known as Oklahoma City's annual "rite of spring," the Festival of the Arts is a six-day community…
  • 🎓 Financial Basics Workshop (Purcell Public Library - Purcell) Start Time: 9:00am This workshop is designed to teach you more about the basics of finances. Learn how your employment history, debt to income ratio and other factors can play a key role in whether a bank may approve you for a loan. The workshop will be presented by Kerry Wilhoit, Vice President and Loan Officer with McClain Bank. Registration is required for…
  • Foreigner in Concert (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Head to Riverwind Casino in Norman for an exciting performance by Foreigner. Known for Top 10 hits like "I…
  • For The Love Of Dallas - Featuring The Smooth Sounds Of Don Diego (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • JAE CRUZ - Live Music, Jae Cruz From La Banda (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm
  • Jon Wolfe (Oklahoma City)
  • Lyric Theatre - Fun Home (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Apr 29th Start Time: 7:30pm Based on Alison Bechdel’s best-selling graphic memoir, Fun Home takes the audience on three different experiences…
  • 🎓 Mayor's Breakfast 2018 (First United Methodist Church - Yukon) Start Time: 7:30am Tickets for the Mayor’s Breakfast are $13 per person in advance and $15 per person at the door. Advanced tickets go on sale Monday, April 2, and are available at Yukon City Hall, 500 W. Main St. The City of Yukon is pleased to host the annual Mayor’s Breakfast, and this year features gubernatorial candidate and Mayor of Oklahoma City, Mick…
  • 🏃 Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon Expo and Packet Pickup (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:00am HEALTH & FITNESS EXPO The Health & Fitness Expo, presented by OU Medicine and the Oklahoma City Convention & Visitors Bureau is a two-day, open to the public, show that showcases more than 60 exhibitors featuring a wide array of products and services geared towards runners, walkers, health-minded consumers. The Expo hosts a speaker symposium…
  • 😂 Mike Speenberg (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
  • Norman Music Festival (Downtown - Norman) 1 day left The Norman Music Festival, an annual event held in Norman, features over 100 bands on multiple stages. This music…
  • 🎭 Overly Designing Women (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Rev. Sekou (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Safari Soirée (Oklahoma City Zoo - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Come and experience an evening of fabulous food, exotic drinks and wild entertainment at the Oklahoma Zoological Society’s 2nd annual event, Safari Soirée! Safari Soirée is a unique event where guests will have the opportunity to experience the zoo (yes, the entire zoo!), a sea lion presentation, giraffe feeding, stingrays, lorikeets and…
  • 🎓 U.S. Cellular Hosting Spring Customer Appreciation Celebration (U.S. Cellular - Edmond) Start Time: 10:00am Now that spring is upon us, it’s time to celebrate! Edmond U.S. Cellular associates are once again inviting the local community to their store for a Customer Appreciation Celebration. On April 27 and 28, there will be free large umbrellas for anyone who visits the store and a mobile prize wheel where customers can use their smartphones to spin…
  • 🎓 U.S. Cellular Hosting Spring Customer Appreciation Celebration (U.S. Cellular - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am Now that spring is upon us, it’s time to celebrate! Norman U.S. Cellular associates are once again inviting the local community to their store for a Customer Appreciation Celebration. On April 27 and 28, there will be free large umbrellas for anyone who visits the store and a mobile prize wheel where customers can use their smartphones to spin…
  • 🎨 Unlocking the Vault: Mysteries and Marvels of the Museum (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 10:00am Museums typically exhibit only a very small percentage of their collections. In the National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum’s vast holdings, specific pieces, for one reason or another, are rarely on view. This exhibition presents a variety of items that are seldom “out of the vault,” and gives the visitor a unique look at why, what, and…
  • 🏆 OK vs. KS Border Border Bash Rodeo (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Start Time: 8:00am Find more event details at LazyE.com!

Saturday, Apr 28th

  • Blackberry Smoke (The Criterion - Oklahoma City) Head to Bricktown for an evening of Southern-fried country when Blackberry Smoke takes over the Criterion Theatre for…
  • The Book of Mormon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) 1 day left The Book of Mormon is coming to Oklahoma City's Civic Center Music Hall. Get ready for hours of laughter at this…
  • Celebration of World Languages (Oklahoma Christian University, Edmond, OK - Edmond) Enrich your mind with a Celebration of World Languages. At this spring event, Dove Science Academy encourages the…
  • 🏆 Oklahoma City Dodgers vs. Iowa Cubs (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 7:05pm Come experience America's favorite pastime in downtown Oklahoma City as the OKC Dodgers take on the Iowa Cubs in a…
  • Festival of the Arts (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Known as Oklahoma City's annual "rite of spring," the Festival of the Arts is a six-day community…
  • Lyric Theatre - Fun Home (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 7:30pm Based on Alison Bechdel’s best-selling graphic memoir, Fun Home takes the audience on three different experiences…
  • Lyric Theatre's Thelma Gaylord Academy - Wizard of Oz Auditions (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am
  • 😂 Mike Speenberg (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
  • Norman Music Festival (Downtown - Norman) Last Day The Norman Music Festival, an annual event held in Norman, features over 100 bands on multiple stages. This music…
  • The Vocal Sounds of Oklahoma Chorus Spring Show (Del City High School - Oklahoma City) Ditch the instruments and join the Vocal Sounds of Oklahoma Chorus and the Del City High School Choir as…

Sunday, Apr 29th

  • The Book of Mormon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Last Day The Book of Mormon is coming to Oklahoma City's Civic Center Music Hall. Get ready for hours of laughter at this…
  • 🏆 Oklahoma City Dodgers vs. Iowa Cubs (Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 7:05pm Come experience America's favorite pastime in downtown Oklahoma City as the OKC Dodgers take on the Iowa Cubs in a…
  • Festival of the Arts (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Last Day Known as Oklahoma City's annual "rite of spring," the Festival of the Arts is a six-day community…
  • Lyric Theatre - Fun Home (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 7:30pm Based on Alison Bechdel’s best-selling graphic memoir, Fun Home takes the audience on three different experiences…
  • 🏃 Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon (Oklahoma City National Memorial - Oklahoma City) On April 19, 1995, a great wrong was done in Oklahoma City. However, on the last Sunday in April the forces of fear and hate are beaten by love and compassion. 168 banners line the marathon course, one for each victim.
  • Thrive Mama Collective - Feather B Pop Up (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:00pm
  • Vance Joy - Nation Of Two Tour (The Criterion - Oklahoma City) Every online ticket purchased for this Vance Joy show includes a standard digital copy of the new album, Nation of Two. Instructions on how to redeem your copy will be sent via email on release day, February 23rd, 2018.

Monday, Apr 30th

I was unable to find any published events for Apr 30th.

Tuesday, May 1st

  • 🏃 Be Kind to Your Mind 5K & 10K (Pioneer Library System - Oklahoma City) Did you know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month? We are helping create awareness with our second annual Be Kind to Your Mind 5K & 10K. Also, at least 15% of every registration to Mental Health America, an amazing organization that is dedicated to helping Americans achieve wellness by living mentally healthier…
  • Food Truck Tuesdays (Jackson - Blanchard) Every week, treat your taste buds to new flavors. During Food Truck Tuesdays, a different food truck will park in…
  • Patty Griffin et al. (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Head to central OKC for an evening of defiant Americana magic when Grammy-winning singesongwriter Patty Griffin takes…

See Also

submitted by eventbot to okc [link] [comments]

BIP39 Words list

Nothing special, just a copy of the current list (for the future) of what can be found at https://github.com/bitcoin/bips/blob/mastebip-0039/english.txt
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submitted by lowcarbjc to btc [link] [comments]

[Table] IAma former Knight at Medieval Times AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-03-01
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Link to my post
Questions Answers
How did you get a gig like that? Were they, like, recruiting from a renaissance fair, or did you have a theater background, or what? I actually applied to be a food server. They make bank. But their manager was out sick the day of my interview and my interviewer was the head knight (manager). During the interview Him: hey you look in shape Me: Yeah i played football and ran track in high school. Him: You ever ride a horse? Me: not once Him: You wanna learn? And maybe be in the show? Me: Hell yes. Him: You start monday... as long as you pass the piss test.
I had zero experience in all aspects.
Wow, then that first piss must have really been something! Stream of legends
They make bank. How much are we talking? Depends on the night and attendance. Ive seen 300 in one night.
Lucky you don't smoke weed :D. Constant drug tests over there. Minor injury? Drug test
I am wasting my life at this Italian place I'm at =/ Its not ALWAYS that high. but more than there im sure.
Haha thanks for your boost of confidence. Also you are doing a fantastic job of replying to people. No problem. good luck if you try and apply. Thanks, im trying to do well for my first and probably only AMA.
I'm assuming there are no asian people working there? I'm asian btw.. Yeah there were two Asians from Russia who worked at the FL castle. Those dudes were sick! They don't discriminate.
If you were a real knight, what would your loadout be? Sword and shield? Big 2-handed sword? Flail? Ohhh I miss these conversations. We(the knights) used to talk about random crap like this from time to time. It depends on my opponent. But, I would normally side with the sword and shield. Both can be used quickly and as weapons. Shield bashes can kill. One handed swords are fast and deadly. Too each his own though.
Sword and board is respectable an time honored, I tip my visor. Nice wordage.
We never spoke that way but its always fun. I raise my lance to you sir.
"Let us gingerly touch our tips together! " HUZZAH.
Also, dost thou joust? Nay, no longer do i joust.
Would you rather joust against 1 duck sized hors... shoots self Seriously though, what's the most common injury suffered by jousters? What's the worst injury you've suffered? Haha REAL jousters I'm not sure... everything is choreographed. Even the lance tips were cut so they looked pretty when they hit the shields. But in those cases when they were not cut right, you could take some hard hits on the elbow(where the shield is resting against) or if you take a hard hit and you happen to be falling that turn, it could make your fall extremely difficult because your balance goes out the window.
You're saying that as if it was all staged... I think you need to know something about santa clause...
Tread carefully, ser knight... Are we being watched? reddit is safe right?
Yeah come on man. Thank god the Easter Bunny is real. Right?
What was your favorite color knight to play? I loved being the Lord Marshall (black knight) from the show about 6 years ago. And the green knight is always fun. He gets to be (or used to at least) a douche bag and its great fucking with the audience.
I went to the NJ one about five years ago with a group from my college. We were in the green knights section. It was heartbreaking when he got killed right at the end :( I was probably there working. Probably either the green one or the guy killing him haha.
Oh man, always thought it was the green knight who was evil... I guess his "theme song" threw me off when I was younger. He was the D bag of the knights, but not the "bad guy"
Always a fun knight to be... my fav.
Thats the knight we would say shit too hahaha, thats funny you say that. He had long hair and everytime he would ride by we would be like nice flow bro sick flow. He just seemed like a douche. Awesome role to play. Especially when he gets into it. You have to!
How many different characters are there? What are their roles? It's usually the same from show to show. 6 knights, a bad guy, a king and princess, The Lord chancellor(the mc), a master of horse, lots of squires.
When I was there green knight had like a goatee thing going on. Black hair. Think he got killed by the the knight? You just described every knight lol.
Oh... Dang... Yea... sorry lol.
Dost thou even hoist? Advance towards me brethren! Nice one.
Has any kid ever run onto the arena, if not whats the craziest thing the audience has ever done? Not kid, but a drunk dude did once. He jumped in and ran across the arena right by the "bad guy" and was just looked at funny. When he tried to jump out, he broke the plexi-glass and cut up his hand BAD. He was charged with drunk and disorderly, trespassing and endangering the animals. Other crazy stuff Ive seen range from flashing tits, to grabbing knights after the show to kiss them. Nothing TOO nuts... it IS a family show.
I almost ran out in the arena in Dallas last week ... according to my co-worker. Why?
I was pissed that the green knight laid down like a little bitch and got himself killed. Laid down? you mean he died...
This is all heresay. The bartenders (females, especially) do a great job of selling booze. Yeah, they have some great assets to do that
How often did you say ni? Never, sadly.
Alas you were not one of the knights that say neee. I twas not...
Why did you stop? Not a career. Girls wont take you seriously when they realize THATS your job EVERYDAY. Not high pay. No retirement plan. LOTS of injuries...even little injuries add up.
Related, did you ever use your job to pick up girls? Dude... that job was an aphrodisiac. women loved us. Many of the guys would pick up chicks all the time. It happens a lot, and frankly isnt fair to the general male population.
I went to Medieval Times (Toronto) a couple years ago and we asked the knight we had if he used the line "I'm a knight in shining armour" to pick up girls at the bar. He only replied "they don't believe you!" Hahaha true, they dont until you show them proof.
That makes sense. I guess us girls do want to feel like a princess being carried away by a knight at least once in our lifetime, and seeing as you guys are the closest thing to what we think of as "knights"... Valid point. We are looked at as chivalrous and loyal. Who wouldn't want that.
So this whole AMA is just a clever ruse to provide proof of knighthood and therefore pick up chicks? That just jaded my whole view of the AMA section. :D. Im engaged and faithful... dont be jaded.
Proof... As in your lance? They ask sometimes believe it or not... Or just grab...
Usually show them a pic on your phone
The proof you showed them, was it your lance? Wouldn't be very chivalrous if I... Showed and tell.
How do you decide who gets the roses? The hot women or do you try and confidence boost the rest? Sometimes cuz they are hot, others cuz they are little girls, and the others are just random. Depends on the knight really. usually wild fans get noticed first
Oh..because, I'm not at all still butthurt I didn't get one...or anything. Many chicks get upset. keep in mind they may have not seen you. And they only have limited amounts. I felt bad sometimes when i didnt get enough to throw out to the crowd. I always asked the princess for more flowers.
I received one when I was 5 years old. My dad told me if I flirted with a knight I might get one. Flirting to my 5year old mind was waving, shyly smirking and batting my eyelashes. It worked! I kept that rose for way too long. It was the highlight of the summer and probably the beginning of my fascination with knights, magic, and that whole era. Haha. did making a little girls day ever brighten up your own day? If I saw a 5 year old waving and doing that, she's getting a flower. When I saw those girls light up and get so excited, it really did make my day.
I'm a guy, and I got the rose during my senior trip. I was pretty loud that night. Lost my voice the next day. I might throw you one too if you were the awesome
That's exactly how I earned my Queen of the Torny sash near the end of the night. I didn't know flailing around obnoxiously actually worked. I was a little ashamed walking back up the stairs. Of you stand out, you'll get at least a flower.
I went to one in Orlando when I was 5. I was super bummed I didn't get a rose, so my grandpa went and found one from who knows where and told me that the king had it specially delivered to me. Awesome grandpa is awesome
Aww...that's the best.<3 I just chugged my giant beer in souvenir cup. It healed the pain. Glad i.. or the beer... could help! lol.
Do you like "The Cable Guy"? Did they portray your job accurately? Awesome movie. Eh... no not really. The audience would never be allowed to go into the arean...ever. The wenches... yeah pretty spot on. Some can get into character, but alot ive seen are like "dude... cmon"
"Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?" They didnt have forks and knives but they had pepsi?
Has anything ever happened unexpectedly and you were forced to stay in character and improv the incident? Many times. most memorable, my weapon broke while fighting a new guy, and we both didnt notice... i went to block my head and he came crashing in with a sword and WHACK... took a sword to the face. Blood went everywhere... the other knight froze in terror... i, dazed, went to the wall with the weapons and grabbed the next one i saw and yelled KEEP GOING!... I was pissed so it was like 125% faster than he was expecting... good training for him though haha.
We're you the white knight? And who chooses the winners? I was legit every color. Usually the supervisor, or whoever is left in charge that show. If no supervisor then the most senior knight will "write the show board" to determine the whole show.
Do the fans talk shit when you trot by? I remember me and my brother used to say random shit to them when we were younger. All the time! Personally I loved it. I always yelled back. It makes the job more fun than it is. I would subtly say kiss my ass by kissing my hand and smacking my horses ass while staring at the mocker. Always got a laugh.
You're going down red knight. Fuck you i never lose... i lie, i lost all the time.
So that was a normal "thing"? The Green knight did that to me in NJ once, and I thought I was special. It all depends on the knight. Some guys play into it, some don't. I was over the top with it when I yelled at the audience. It's hard to say to be honest.
Down down down, red knight's going down! The red knight sucks the big one!
Roughly how much money did you make? Any benefits? Health insurance seems necessary... Health insurance was ok. Not many benefits unless you count being a bad ass for a while. When I left i was making 18 an hour
I dunno if 18/hr would be enough to have huge dudes swinging medieval weapons at me all night. Damn. You'd think those guys would at least make a good salary. 18 is HIGH... Start at 8 being a squire... if your good enough to train you go to 10... once your in the show 12... then up from there whatever you learn and crap.
How is being a bad-ass NOT a benefit? Oh it is.
I've always wanted to go there, but I hate "participating." I want to eat and watch a fucking horse fight. Can you do that, or are audience members forced to participate? Participating makes the experience better for everyone. Imagine everyone sitting quietly not cheering at all... it would be lame. BUT NO, you dont have to. You can sit and just watch if you like. Many do and are not looked at funny for it. Its like going to a baseball game or football game. Your encouraged to yell and stuff. But its no big deal if you dont.
Previous knights have mentioned hook-ups. Any interesting stories there? One story I think i can tell without being yelled at by the SO... A bachelorette party came one night(no idea why) and the bride to be wanted me to be her... last fling? She was pretty aggressive and kissed me pretty wildly. Then gave me her number and demanded to see me later. I was involved at the time so I did not lol. In retrospect I should have later finding out that I was cheated on... thats another story lol.
I went to Medieval Times in NJ last year! I can't blame the ladies for hitting on you, you're very good looking! Thanks much! You saw some of my good friends there.
Good on you for not doing it. Girl had to have been a complete fucking cunt to try and get laid at her own fucking bachelor party. Feel sorry for the guy who married her. I do too. I hope she only did that cuz she was drunk and feeling weird about the marriage... i HOPE shes faithful
Spoiler: she isn't. Twist: neither is he.
You...you seem like a redditor...will you join us? I am honored and absofuckinglutley
How much of a fight is choreographed, and how much improvised? Obviously you're not trying to hurt each other, but do you have a bunch of "set lists" or are you winging it? Dream job out of high school, thats about it.
Also, that seems like a God damn dream job. 100% choreographed unless something goes wrong, then as much to choreograph as posible. When its time to improvise, you can tell... usually they will just freeze up and stare with the "wtf do i do now". Training is drilled into us, so when something is different it throws us off.
How heavy is your gear? How long did it take to learn to battle? The armor was only about 7 lbs. Motor cross chest and back with metal shoulders. Lances were about 15-20 lbs. Shields about 10. Swords ranged from 5-15 lbs. It took me about 3 months to learn everything to be "show ready"
You said you had virtually no experience, how long did it take you to become a decent enough horseback rider to be in the show jousting? Surprisingly i picked up riding quickly. Few weeks and a i was a calm and confident. When I was training they didnt need any more knights in the show, so it took about 7 months for me to finally go into the show. It all depends on personal skill level and coordination
I've never been to any of these so sorry if this is a dumb question but is every day and show pretty much the same thing? How often are new shows written and changed up? Yeah, same show day in, day out. Roughly 2 years the shows change... used to be longer but their shows and scripts have gotten seriously bad. The first show i did was in for 5 years i think. It was awesome.
So did any of you and your fellow knights ever have beef with each other? Like anyone purposely messing someone else up out of spite? Curious to know if the rivalries ever translated from script to real life. Thanks for doing this! Oh god yeah. Tempers flew like we were movie stars. We would scream and curse (in shows) at each other and would fucking HATE each other that day. But, when the actual fight came time, it was respectful and hate free. No matter how badly we wanted to kill each other, we knew we could seriously fuck someone up with those weapons. Or worse. They are fake but made of real titanium.
Titanium? I gotta ask.. how much would one set you back? Those started from 350 for the small one handed swords I think. It's been a while.
Why titanium? Titanium smashing against titanium makes sparks
You worked in the New Jersey Castle? I've been there a couple times. Great stuff! Now for my question: If I recall correctly, the knights are split up into different colors, i.e. Red, Yellow, Green, Black & White, etc. How does that process work? Do you get to select your color, or does management force a color upon you? Yes, NJ castle. Its all on who knows what fights and who wants to do what. If that makes sense. The senior guys get to pick normally. Management doesnt get involved, only our immediate supervisor.
Do you have any memorable events during your time there? I remember when I was there one of the falcons stole a patrons meal but you must have some pretty cool stories yourself! (side note-how accurate is the game chivalry(if you have heard of it)or skyrim? Are they boring compared to what you've done?) Oh i have countless memorable events. Never heard the falcon taking food off a plate though. thats priceless. I HAVE heard the flacon grabbing a kids head though... bled like crazy. They are serious when they say DONT WAVE SHIT AT THE FALCON. Game of chivalry...???... during the show? The games portion? Thats all on skill of the knight and chance usually. And im not sure what you mean with Skyrim too.. played it.. love it. But yeah video games of that nature are boring WHEN compared to the job. But i played the crap out of skyrim
How was the kid? Also do you get to choose the weapon or are you forced to use the one your given? He was fine. Mom was pissed lol. Whatever fight you are assigned to do before the show determines your weapon and if you lose a joust.
I hope some of you got the reference I was making. Link to www.youtube.com. Oh wow! been a long time since ive seen that movie. Totally forgot about this. No we do not wear real suits of armor. He makes us look like more dopes than we are.
I actually think its a cool job, but anytime that I think of the Ren fair or Midevil times, I always think about this scene. I've actually studied western fencing (foil, epee, saber, and broadsword) and eastern sword tactics (Kendo, Eishin Ryu Iaido). I used to as well(that scene)... it so far off. Never did fencing. How does one fence with a broadsword?
What was your favorite experience while working? Wayyy too many to count. Its easy to say the things i miss most... Mainly my horse, Friend. Love that fucker. The comradery between the guys. And the fans and excitement of shows.
Any specific ones that standout? OH! duh.. meeting my fiance! I was the yellow knight and she was in the red/yellow section. She wasnt a slutty "omg your a knight" chick and we hit it off... obviously.
Your horse was named Friend? That is actually one of the best horse names ever. Yup. It was originally Amigo(spanish owners.. from spain), but we already had an amigo... so, he became friend! NOTTT friendly at all to people riding him... except me.. we got along so he kind of just became my horse.
More details. Make me swoon dammit. I asked her if she knew what a princess was... she said yes of course... then i gave her my number and said, call me when you want to be treated like one..
No i wish. that would be awesome. We exchanged numbers and did the whole dinner and a movie thing and got along great. We have been in a honeymoon stage for 4.5 years now.
Do you have life insurance? I specifically remember the green knight dying in the show. Real deaths... never heard of it. ive seen a lot of close calls though... buddy got kicked in the head by a horse... he got LUCKY. Minor injury. He did black out though and the show was over (it was at the end) But yea i do have life insurance. Im in the USAF Reserves so... they said i should.
No. Yes. Maybe... Yes...
Do they serve alcohol? I could see it being a lot of fun to get loaded and cheer your team on. You better believe it. Its pricy but have a few before you go. A FEW. Dont get tanked before hand, they'll throw you out. But during the show go nuts, yell and scream. They wont care.
What's the food there like? Its ok now. Used to be amazing. Most people love it. Chicken, rib, garlic bread, soup, potato, and a pastry. I think thats all of it.
Went to a Medieval Times once, I was given a bowl of warm marinara and they called it "dragonbreath soup" I think that's Excalibur in Vegas
What changed in the kitchen to make it less amazing? They changed recipes and meals...new soup and stuff. Not sure really.
I went to the Medieval times in Toronto for my neice's birthday, and ended up buying a 2handed Scottish clay-more($650, you people ripped me off). Please settle this for me, my 9-year old neice and I (26) have been arguing for the last 6 weeks about this... If you were to battle another knight with it, do you think a 2 handed weapon would be viable in a fight? Not me! I dont make those absurd prices! haha.
It depends on the opponent. What do they have? I prefer a one handed sword and shield. BUT, a two handed sword(bigger and heavier) could potentially demolish a sword and shield with one blow. It relies heavily on the skill and weapon of the opponent. Give me more details and ill be happy to answer.
What was the worst injury you received? I got lucky. Almost died a few times and almost broke my legs getting trampled by a horse. Almost snapped my knee backwards by getting kicked by a horse. Lots of close calls and minor injuries. Worst one I got was in the very beginning of a show ( i was the prince, white knight) in the very beginning of an ambush scene. I did a minor flip stunt and my down guy never supported me and I landed on my shoulder tearing my a.c. joint in my shoulder. THAT was an interesting fight. Finished it though... not the show.
Have you ever heard of anyone getting killed in an accident at a Medieval Times? No, never.
What was the breakdown of time spent practicing/performing/anything else? Practice is done everyday usually. Even on off days where no shows happen. Go in, warm up the horses, do some horse exercises, joust a bit, train new horses, train new guys, show fights. Basically thats an off day. Show days: show fights before the show...warm up your horse a bit, and thats it.
Can you speak Klingon? Negatory sir.. Star Trek the new movie is cool... but thats my limit.
That's another Garden State reference. Too lazy for a link. I know, just answering honestly
Ever seen the Tournament of Kings in Las Vegas at the Excalibur casino? If so, how does it compare to Medieval Times? Never have, always meant to. I applied once when I thought of moving out there for a change of scenery and they told me I didnt have to audition. More money too... ugh. So I cant fairly say how it compares... I have heard they sing there and are a little more over the top.
I went to it once a few years ago... no singing, but it was awesome. I was hoarse for a few days because of all the shit-talk my section yelled to the other knights. I think my section was the purple Russian knight. Food was good too... especially the Dragon's Blood (spicy tomato soup). Yelling is a plus at every show. kudos for the lost voice.
I went to the one in L.A. with my dad when I was eleven. I had a crush on our handsome blue knight. I couldn't talk for three days afterwards. Thats a common problem even with legal girls... and its hilarious
Have you ever met the Black Knight? Did he set you on the right path as a teen and spark a lifelong dream to become a jouster? Was that really a cheeseburger I ate 2 hours ago? I have, and he did. He was my inspiration. He was kind of a dick though.
I'm not sure what you ate.
Is the king still called Alfonso? Because that was my favorite part. No, the names all change. That was my favorite too
How historically accurate were your jousts, costumes, battles etc? Did you have to sacrifice accuracy for safety or audience enjoyment? I know at one point the story line was very accurate to some history in spain. Now? Its all out the window and the only things accurate are the county names and knights names... supposedly.
Has being a knight in shining army help you get laid? While employed there, plainly... yes.
Which is the most popular of the castles? My guess is Orlando. California and NJ battle it out for busiest. And orlando i think is like 3rd.
Also are there any Knights that take it way too seriously? Those guys never make it to the show. They take it way too seriously and love the medieval era, but are as coordinated as a 16 year old trying to fuck. Just bad. I Love the era, but didnt speak or act that way.
What was the worst/funniest thing to happen during a show? Personally? Worst... 1. getting a sword to the face and bleeding everywhere and my fans not giving two flying fucks... "oh hes bleeding alot... can i have a beer" Fuck them.
Getting trampled but a blur of white (white horse) and almost breaking both my legs.
Tearing my a.c. joint in my shoulder in the beginning of the show in the beginning of the fight... awesome.
Funniest: 1. Having a horse "jerk off" in the middle of the "dancing horses" part... I think i fell into the sand laughing so hard (no it wasnt the horse near me)
One of the knights was trying to impress a lady during the games part... when really fast on his horse and was about to throw a javeline into a targer(imagine him up in his stirrups being all badassery) When his horse decides to come to a dead stop, flipping the knight over the horses head and almost out of the arena. he was fine... so it was fucking hilarious.
I really like getting drunk and going to the later shows so I can yell at the knights, can you here when someones yelling stuff like sweep the leg and play dead or does it all just washed out by everyone yelling? I always like to think the knights can hear me saying stupid things. You guys are the best... my hats off to you and your buddies. You make the show better for us.
During the fights, no we cant hear you normally. Adrenaline is pumping and we kind of just see each other and what we need to do next. Unless you have a very quiet show and your real loud up on the glass... yeah we hear you... youll even see us break character and laugh... happened to me all the time.. "PUT IT IN HIS ASSS" anddd im laughing. Totally unexpected things to throw us off make you a memorable person.
My buddy is one of the kings for the Orlando show - ever do any work with cast members from other locations? Also, is the show the same for all the locations or do they each have their own variations going on? Ive been there before... and may be going actually next week or so. Yes the show is the same country wide, unless a new show is going in, then it will go castle to castle in a few months. Ive worked with guys at the NJ castle from almost every castle in the country. Injuries take a toll and people get flown in to help out.
I just might! What exactly do squires do? Clean stables and groom horses? They do everything. Prep for the show, clean weapons, prepare lances, clean/wash/dress horses, paint shields, help the knights.
Edit: btw what do you do now? Im trying to be a cop, but i work at teterboro airport right now.
Last updated: 2013-03-06 02:05 UTC | Next update: 2013-03-06 08:05 UTC
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